Yesterday was Winter Solstice, the darkest day of the year. We already have begun our slow ascent towards the sunny part of the cycle!
Just a week shy of Yule, I have entered a new phase of my spiritual journey. With Brené Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection as my guide, I am learning to embrace all of my feelings, to develop gratitude, to not hide myself behind a carefully crafted mask for other people’s benefit, to relax and play, to not fill silence and stillness with nervous energy and meaningless tasks, and to accept all the good sides, flaws, bad tempers, kindness and truths that are parts of me.
Basically, I am trying to firmly center myself on my ground if everything in my life is going too fast for me. At least that’s how it is now. I won’t force myself to match everyone else’s pace. Whatever I have “put in” that day, I am going to the bed thinking, I did my best and that’s enough. I stop every time I catch myself beating myself up for not being or doing “enough”. And I try to analyze the source of this expectation that I am forcing myself to fulfill – and almost in every case, it isn’t mine. I am grateful that I stumbled upon this book that gave voice to a lot of my fears, clarified my sub-conscious thoughts and inspired me to become an authentic, loving self.