Because this was very important to me, I’m posting this twice.
Yesterday WordPress informed me that I had my fiftieth follower for my blog Fly.
Truth be told, I was mind-blown.
I know I have the worst netiquette ever and I hardly ever follow people back or leave appreciative comments.
I apologize for my past (and probably future) behavior.
I suppose you follow my blog because you wanted to see more of what you saw? Because that’s why I usually follow others’ blogs. Well, I don’t know why you are reading these words (or just chose to click that button), but thank you.
Thank you for listening. Thank you for giving me a voice that has its own audience. I started this blog for my own purposes, and never really thought about the consequences of having people read it. It feels actually quite weird.
I thank you.
I haven’t written anything for this blog in an awfully long time. I hadn’t completely disappeared as I write (or try to, at least) every day over at http://www.365pagesof2014.wordpress.com even if it’s a sentence or two.
It still astonishes me that my blog gets a couple of hits every other day or so. It amazes me more that people follow my blog in hopes of… of what, actually? I would like to know. So please be so kind and help me make a better blog out of this string of long, rambling posts! I appreciate it. :)
Of course, I can’t promise I will do whatever you want to… mostly because I’m terribly moody. Some months I am full of fresh ideas and my brain keeps whirring until I write them down and mostly I’m totally pleased with what I have achieved. Other times I have to struggle to get each word just right (right now is one of those times).
I look back at posts I have written ten months ago and wonder at how energized and restless I felt at that time. I still remember my excitement over choosing books for my Wednesday Reading Wishlists, the way my fingers flew over my laptop to make a way for all the words tripping over themselves to get out.
Lately? I’m more… subdued is the right word, I suppose. Maybe it’s the winter’s blues, maybe it’s the cold or the exams I didn’t really study for… I feel like my heart is trying to bust its way out but the rest of me refuses to move. My brain doesn’t want to think. My eyes don’t want to see. My arms are heavy and my whole body weighs me down.
Is it because I’m oh-this-close to saying goodbye to my family and our permanent living situation forever? It does terrify me deep down, this living alone thing. I can be very responsible if I want to be… but again, it depends on my moods. Some days I have to drag myself to do stuff and often I’m too self-indulgent and I just lie around doing nothing.
I’ve always had difficulty to live in and enjoy the present. I don’t know why I have to feel impatient and restless all the time. This way, I also get distracted a lot. Especially lately. What the heck is happening?
Today is Imbolc. If you ignore the weather outside of my window, it means that today is the beginning of Spring, sun-wise. The day has kept getting longer since Winter Solstice, or Yule. (I just realized that I totally skipped online mini-celebration of Yule. OH NO!!) In about six weeks, we will have a balanced day-night date – Spring Equinox, or Ostara.
All I know about Imbolc is that it is also called Candlemas (and people light candles to celebrate the beginning of Spring) and that Goddess Brigid is honored by some traditions.
Compared to last Yule (that I didn’t record), you could say I am slowly getting used to getting buried by information surrounding my major. I also decided I won’t become a person who defines herself by her work, like I’ve been doing lately. Certainly it will be easier (although, admittedly, I don’t have the concentration for it anyway) if I studied 18/7. But I want my study to be something that will help me grow into a mature, more well-rounded person. I don’t want to become “oh, that girl who studies Law”. I have dreams, I have fancies and I have other interests.
For instance, lately I have become fascinated by biographies of authors: Leo Tolstoy (and his wife, Sophia Tolstaya), Jane Austen, Charles Dickens, and Mary Wollstonecraft. I also want to learn to speak and read French, Russian and Spanish. I’m afraid to watch TFiOS movie because it will rip my heart out. I plain want to read novels and visit all these fantastic worlds. I want to write poetry, even though I suck. I want to be a humble human being, and I want to be a good person. I want to let my inner voice speak out more often. I want to listen to Pharrell Williams’ Happy all day. I want to work on a cross-stitching project.
I know I have to apply myself more to my study – at least, more than I am doing now. And I think it’s admirable – and necessary – that one studies as much as I see students from 7th semester doing.
But I don’t want my study to become my entire life. Sometimes, especially in subjects like all-consuming Law, it’s important to distance yourself from it all and regard and inspect it from another angle. If I am doing that right now, I can’t say. But I certainly do find it easier to switch back and forth between law-world and non-law-world.
So here is to Spring! Here is to the first, tentative fingertips of sunshine and another year I feel in my heart. I want it to grow, I want to nurture it. Hello, Spring!
Another month gone! W.H.A.T?!
So anyway, I read a lot more books than I’d expected to, and while I didn’t manage to re-read Unspoken or finish Measure for Measure for Shakespeare month, I did read a total of nine books!
HERE IS WHAT I READ IN JANUARY ’14:
- A Spy in the House (The Agency #1) by Y. S. Lee – 4 STARS, see also: my review
- The Body at the Tower (The Agency #2) by Y. S. Lee – 5 STARS, even better than ASitH!
- The Body in the Library: A Miss Marple Mystery by Agatha Christie – 4 STARS, didn’t expect the killer/s and there were some funny dialogues. A cozy read.
- Same Difference by Siobhan Vivian (re-read) – 5 STARS, still one of my all-time favorites!
- A Game of Thrones (A Song of Ice and Fire #1) by George R. R. Martin – ?????, world-building & characters & finery for details, etc = 5 stars; personal enjoyment = 4 stars
- Frost Burned (Mercy Thompson #7) by Patricia Briggs – 4 STARS, not as memorable as the previous books, but I just lovelovelove the characters!
- Candlelight by Sara C. Roethle – 2.5 STARS, a short e-story; appreciate the details & the ending, but not realistic enough – the human reactions are too simple to be human.
- The MacGregor Grooms (The MacGregors #10) by Nora Roberts – 4.5 STARS, The MacGregor Brides will remain the weakest of all series. I wasn’t impressed by D.C.’s story (except for Daniel The MacGregor’s scheming skills), but Duncan’s story was better (maybe because we see a bit more of Daniel, Anna, Serena and Justin?) and Ian’s story was the best! <3
- The MacGregors: Robert ~ Cybil (The MacGregors #9, 11) by Nora Roberts – 5 STARS, hands down. I totally fell in love with Darcy and her somewhat innocent yet fun-loving character in The Winning Hand. The fact that it took place in Las Vegas in a casino made the whole deal more un-real, which was what I really needed at the time. And when I thought it couldn’t be topped… along came The Perfect Neighbor with sunny, helpful and just a little bit noisy Cybil (and we finally get to see Gennie and Grant again!!!) and anti-social Preston. Happy sigh.
I HAVE NO TBR FOR FEBRUARY, DEAL WITH IT!